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Don’t compare notes: Look, forget that relationship hiatus even existed. But if you’re absolutely positive about this girl, the ultimate bold move has had unparalleled success, says Frances.

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It’s not necessarily too late to rekindle the love with your ex—but don’t get rash and make any mediocre moves. Let her hear your voice and register some sincere effort on your part.“Tell her why you love her and what it is about her that makes her completely special. For many of us, Thanksgiving kicks off a season of celebration which doesn’t really seem to stop until sometime in January.“It might be wise to see a therapist to clarify what you did and why, and how best to sort of the problem.” Then, no matter what she did, you need to take responsibility for you—and change. Avoid rehashing the past: After you’ve acknowledged the problem, look ahead.If you weren’t willing to extend an effort to get to know her friends before, tell her you’d be game for drinks as a group. “Don’t go down memory lane and hash out all the things you thought were wrong with the relationship,” Spira says.

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